Saturday, May 28, 2005

The UDUB Suffix Phenomena

Do you want to be a controversial Somaliland politician? Then add the UDUB suffix to your name. Some of you may laugh it off and think that I am making one of those Mr. Tani-like dry jokes, but this is well-researched phenomena and here is the proof of the pudding. Udub, which means in the Aqal-Somali terminology as the pillar, the column or the main support, a very comforting word, is now being used differently in the present Somaliland political literature. The good gist of Udub is corrupted misused and abused. It has been lately associated with everything that is irrational, fictitious, disreputable and repulsive. Everyone who dislikes, opposes or argues against this new UDUB philosophy is considered a radical, a chauvinist and is mercilessly dealt with.

The UDUB suffix phenomena came into light just after the election of Mr.Riyaale as a president of Somaliland . Mr. Riyaale promised the Somaliland voters that he was going to eradicate corruption, mismanagement and injustice. He promised that he was going to select only respectful, competent and hardworking people into his cabinet. Mr. Riyaale promised the people of Somaliland that he was going to work hard day and night to earn International recognition for Somaliland . In contrast to his campaign promises, corruption, mismanagement and injustice became rampant and beyond the control. He selected around sixty or more incompetent people into his cabinet. Mr. Riyaale proofed repeatedly that the human rights, freedom of speech, multiparty system and steadfastly abiding by the constitution were not in his priority list. The domestic policy and the diplomatic style of the president became an impediment and a burden to the International recognition of Somaliland . The president disappointed his enthusiastic supporter everywhere in the world and that is how he managed to award himself the first title of “Papa- Udub”. The president advised the municipality of Qolujeed (the president’s birthplace) to add that suffix Udub to his middle name. “From now on, the president will be known to all as Riyaale-Udub”, said the presidential spokesperson. The suffix Udub can only be added to the first or the last names, but the presidential case is an exceptional, because he was elected by the people, therefore he is exempted to all the national and international rules. This was stated in the state of the union speech and in the president’s Independence square speech.

Mr. abdi Idris Dualeh warned the people of Somaliland and the Somaliland media not to omit adding the Udub suffix to President’s name in both verbal and/or in the print forms. “skip over or forgetting to add the Udub suffix to the president’s name will be punishable under this latest presidential diktat,” the press secretary added.

The press secretary himself is known to have contested very hard to gain this title, but instead the president awarded him the slightly less seedy Ucid suffix. It is a well-known fact that the president reserves the UCID title to the colorful and flamboyant individuals who care the least about their reputation and International standing of Somaliland . In principle anyone who is awarded the UCID title is considered inconsistent, less trustworthy and a political opportunist. These people end up in political suicide.

Since the renaming of the president, Riyaale-Udub, the majority of his supporters and cabinet ministries competed very hard to win the addition of that suffix to their family names if not their first names. All the interested people tried their utmost to make the Udub renaming a reality, a dream come true and life long achievement. They all rushed to realize the definitive goal, which is a brand name for “the presidential satisfaction”.

The second person who was ever awarded the Udub suffix is Ismail-Udub, the least respected Somaliland minister of interior. Ismail-Udub achieved this title in fighting every evil that has to do with freedom of speech, democracy, morality and human decency. The confiscation of Radio Horyaal antenna and studio from Europe through the windows of the KULMIYE office, the bad mouthing of Raqiya Oomar and the imprisonments of Sultans and the schoolchildren are the most familiar battles that are believed to have won him the title of Mr. Ismail-Udub. Another cabinet minister who worked himself very hard to win that title is Mr.Awil, the self-made tireless tribal minded eccentric. Mr. awil promised to keep the president in power using his special unproven imaginary powers. From time to time Mr.Awil comes up with miraculous claims of special abilities. Mr. Riyaal-Udub awarded Mr. Awil the title of Awil-Udub due to his bad mouthing of Mr. Mohamed Hashi and Silaanyo, both respected veterans and the leaders of Somaliland’s war of independence. Mr. Awil-Udub is the finance minister of Somaliland, who also acts as foreign minister. Mr.Awil could not give justification for the millions of dollars that were allegedly diverted from the national treasury.

The supreme court justices obtained the title for their collective hard work of rubberstamping the unconstitutional weird decisions of Riyaal-Udub. The chief justice is said to have disappointed Riyaal-Udub by claiming that the so-called emergency security courts are unconstitutional and Mr. Riyaale-Udub is expected to withdraw the suffix from the chief justice.

The latest addition of the Udub suffix winners is Mr. abdulqadir Jirde, the deputy speaker of the Somaliland house of parliament. Mr.Jirde achieved his suffix by playing the role of the greatest imposter in the Somaliland political history. At the beginning of his political carrier, Mr.Jirde succeeded to disguise himself as a trustworthy and reputable Somaliland nationalist. He succeeded to delude the KULMIYE party leadership and the majority of Somalilanders that he was neutral in the last presidential election dispute. Mr. Jirde was unmasked by the president when he awarded him the suffix for his work of infringing the house bylaws and scandalous staging of political overthrow of Mr.Qaybe, the speaker of the house. Mr. Jirde-Udub is said to be first inline to replace Mr. Riyaale-Udub, God forbid, if the Riyaale-Udub decides to step down in the coming presidential election. Mr. Jirde is said to be very determined to achieve the ultimate title of “Abe-Udub” and for that, he is not keen to take any hostages.

Some unnamed sources close to the president are quoted to have stated that the president is considering passing the suffix to Mr. Qaybe, the speaker of the house of parliament for playing the good cop in the present presidential impingement affair. This story is being closely watched with great interest as it unfolds. Everyone agrees though, that the destiny of Mr.Qaybe’s Udub suffix will soon be decided upon one way or another depending on his stance in the current presidential impingement process.

Dr.Yusuf Dirir Ali

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