Honorable leaders, we know your hands are full and the issues on your table are heavier than mountains, so we assume. We also know that Somaliland is not one of them; because it doesn't have the hallmarks it needs to be qualified to attract your attention. How can it appeal to you when there are no warlords, no smoking guns and no bloodshed; not even mass movement across the border or desperate boat people running away from genocide. For heavens sake, what a dull country it is! We can hear you say. Just peace, stability and democracy; dismiss it; next point, please.
Honorable sirs, we know you are good at shoring up only dictators and tyrant regimes; you did it in the past with Siyad Barre, Mengistu Haile Mariam, Hussein Habre, Mobutu Sese Seko, Jean-Bedel Bokassa and many others and you are doing it now by toasting with your host Omar-Hassan El Bashir and Zimbwean dictator Robert Mugabe on the banks of the Blue Nile.
Honorable sirs, Somaliland people are aware and mature enough to understand that you cannot give them the recognition they deserve. They know your reasons well. Sacrosanct colonial borders, not ready to open Pandora’s box, not keen on making a precedent etc. We are familiar with all these timeworn stonewalling tactics. gentlemen and ladies, we know the truth and you can no longer hide it from us. You cannot recognize us, because you don’t have the guts to admit that Somaliland has become “Africa’s Best Kept Secret… the Little Country That Could..” without peacekeeping forces and without foreign aid. Tough luck sirs, Somaliland people have decided that they cannot be otherwise. This is the way we are, brothers and sisters, family members and in-laws. Honorable sirs, we have some old fashioned elders who fix our little problems before they become too big to handle. Unlike you, sirs, they still believe meeting under the tree is the best way to settle differences. Naive old men, we say, because they have yet to learn that resolving issues and maintaining peace and harmony don't grab headlines. Fools !
Sirs, we don’t want you to recognize us or even admit our delegation to your meetings because we don’t want the few courageous ones who voice our case to be ostracized and chastised for breaking rank. We have a good example in the Western Sahara Republic. Twenty-one years ago you decided to admit them to your house, but they are still in the cold. Somaliland doesn’t want to meet the same fate. Therefore, we will snatch our recognition from the lion’s den and spare you the embarrassment. We will take our case to the big boys in Washington, London, Rome and Paris. You see, we are smart people, honorable sirs, we know that once you get a nod from the capitals of the world, you will not hesitate to take us in warm arms; you are not fools, sirs, you know once the big boys recognize us our plate will be full and that we will be able to host you and feed you good. But sirs, I have to forewarn you that we may never be able to fulfill your dreams because we have taken a stupid system called democracy. We have nasty free press that sleeps no night and has a strange nose for digging dirt. So, I am afraid that our leaders may not be able to host you with fine china sets and French bed linen imported from Paris. Stupid press, sirs, it is out of the bag and we cannot put it back.
Honorable sirs, all that we need from you is to take note of our achievements. Just one time, sirs, do one mistake for our sake. Mention in your communiqué that Somaliland did well. Put it on record that we deserve more attention from our African brothers. We know it will be a mistake, Sirs, to ask you to mention a dull peaceful and stable country in your final statement; we know that no funds will be due for you in doing this because bloodshed is like a cow for you; you milk it. Sorry, sirs, you may have to skip one meal for the sake of a nagging younger brother; at least when you go to sleep you can say; God, we did one good mistake today.